CHURCH SCANDAL ROCKS SWIMMING

I have been reading for months about the clerical abuse of children by Catholic priests. I am sickened by what I read, as I was an altar boy and know how vulnerable you can be to the influence of one who is supposed to be an envoy of God. I was further sickened by the abuse of power among the bishops and cardinals who knew about this behavior and just passed the sickness along from one parish to another. It all makes me sick inside, and lose trust for those in power who abuse their position of public trust to protect the illusions that give them power.

So I read the sports page to get away from the sickness, only to find yet again that sports imitates real life. Here on the sports page is a story about the governing body of swimming, USA Swimming, who is dealing with swimming coaches who are suspected of sexually abusing young swimmers. Worse yet, one of the top coaches in the organization was involved, former national team director Everett Uchuyama. He quit in 2006 after a girl came forward to reveal a sexual relationship lasting over 10 years that began when she was 14. He never faced criminal charges and turns up less than a year later being the head swimming coach at the Country Club of Colorado, just down the street from the headquarters of USA Swimming in Colorado Springs.

Just like the church, they just passed the abuser onto the next club.Turns out he was recommended for the job by Pat Hogan, who leads US Swimming's club development program. The good ole boys network succeeded in covering up the sins of one of their top coaches. Poor kids who had to be coached by him, knowing that he had the inside track to be picked for the US squad. Wonder how he used that leverage on some of the young swimmers that he coached at that private club.

Better than the Catholic Church, at least USA Swimming is doing something about it.They first published a banned list of coaches, 46 in all who were charged with sexual misconduct. Mr. Uchiyama hastily resigned. They then published a second list of coaches who are under suspicion. Lastly, they published a new policy to protect the swimmers. Imagine that they had to have a policy that prohibits coaches from giving rubdowns to swimmers. You mean that they didn't know that touching could create sexual tensions and confusion for a young child! Or that they needed parental permission before they can visit a swimmer's home or share a room when traveling to meets. Wonder why they needed a policy for what seems like common sense decisions that reasonable adults would make. Where do these coaches come from?

MORE ON MICHAEL VICK

I am just not buying it. I am a psychologist. I help people for a living .Just like Andy Reid, I want to believe that Michael Vick has learned his lesson. As I noted in prior blog, I am looking for him to integrate his sadness with his anger.
I don't care if Andy Reid or the other players think he is a nice guy. Players who beat their wives and do illegal drugs can be the nicest guy in the locker room. That is superficial . It's what you do in real life that matters, not what you do on the field or in a locker room. Anybody that can do to animals what he has done is a damaged person. The word nice doesn't even apply. Harmful, scary, unpredictable, and many others come first to mind.
So what do we see in Michael's quote the other day about the birthday party shooting? We see that Michael is scared about letting the people down who gave him a second chance. Is he sad because his words didn't match is actions? No. He is upset because he is scared that his bad choices may cost him $3.5 million and his job as a football player. He said: "I was scared about alot of things...gaining the confidence of the people who put me in this position.. scared for my career...my family...myself...my freedom. I know I didn't do anything wrong...I knew that it was a situation that should never have occurred....If I could reach back and do it all again, I would listen to my mom...We all think we know certain things, and want to do what we want to do, but you have to start listening to your mom at a certain point...."
Michael is admitting that he has no social conscience, that he does not know right from wrong. He had to listen to his mother to define it for him. Otherwise, he feels entitled to do whatever he feels like, including having fun with his friends at an animal's expense. What is he going to do next when his mother isn't around to be his voice of reason? Stay tuned as there will be a next time when there is nobody else around to be his conscience.
As for the Eagles, I guess the desire to win has greater value than holding athlete's accountable for their actions. Andy Reid seems so determined to give Michael another chance. I still wonder if he is dealing with Michael or his own sons when he makes that kind of decision. I guess zero tolerance gets defined by the NFL and the law who have judged him not guilty of a crime in the birthday party incident. I guess my definition is a little stricter. I want Michael Vick to demonstrate that he has a conscience that goes beyond protecting his right to do what he wants. Until that time, he continues to represent the poison that is ruining sports and dampening my enthusiasm for football and the Eagles.

GREED IS SPORTS ACHILLES HEEL

I don't see much difference these days when I read the financial page or the sports page. All I see is the damage done by human greed. There are bailouts, legislation to control financial fraud and abuse, pension bombs, improper spending legislation, and many other issues that reflect the harm created by human greed on the financial page. When I went to read the sports page the other day, I was confronted by the same human tragedy. Once again, sports imitates real life.
Let me take them one at a time to illustrate my point:
1. Sports is big money:
Manchester United soccer franchise tops the list of most financially valuable teams in the world at a worth of $1.84 billion dollars. Second on the list is the Dallas Cowboys at $1.65 billion followed by the New York Yankees, and five other football franchises (Redskins, Patriots,Giants, Jets and Texans). Reminds me of the kind of money we hear thrown about by Wall Street banks. Both are great breeding grounds for greed.

2. USC and NCAA sanctions:
The story is about the return of a copy of Reggie Bush's Heisman trophy by USC as an act of contrition for the harm done by the greed of the agent and the Bush family. There was on-going consideration of asking Bush to return the Heisman to the Heisman Trust for his actions, but no decision had been reached. The loss of respect to the university, as well as future earnings by their football team, prompted the following quote from Nick Saban, Alabama Head Football Coach: "I don't think it's anything but greed that's creating it right now on behalf of the agents. The agents that do this - and I hate to say this, but how are they any better than a pimp?" Street life meets the gridiron, with both being arenas for abuse of athletes and women for financial gain.

3. Alex Rodgriguez 600th Home Run:
Turn the page and we have the story of how A-Rod is soon to hit his 600th home run, joining an elite group of only 6 players in baseball history who have achieved that feat. There is one problem with A-Rod's accomplishments - he is an admitted steroid user and the only one of the elite 7 who has cheated. Steroid use is driven by greed. When you hit more homers, you are paid more money. When you use steroids, you hit more homers. You are cheating, but you are paid megamillions. If I remember correctly, A-Fraud ,as the author so fondly called him, was one of the first players to be offered a contract that exceeded $100 million dollars. Not a bad paycheck for fraud and not so different than the huge bonuses paid to the financial wizards who created derivitives, credit default swaps and bogus junk bonds on Wall Street. It's a shame because we will never know how good or average A-Rod would have been without steroids.

I look forward to the day when sports and competition is about bringing out the best in people.Unfortunately, with the current influence of money, I fear we are bringing out the worst.

MICHAEL VICK MUST GO

I tried to accept the decision to add Michael Vick to the Eagles roster. I believe that people deserve a second chance in life provided they are sorry for their actions and try to make amends. I wanted to believe that Michael Vick had met those terms. The Eagles management asked me to believe that those conditions had been met. I wanted to give him the chance. So I decided to continue to follow the Eagles last season, although my enthusiasm was muted and did not feel the same as prior years.
Giving him the chance created great inner turmoil for me. Michael Vick's crimes were morally reprehensible. Animals are helpless creatures that rely on human trust for survival. You have to come from a cold world to be able to separate from the compassion that an animal's helplessness should evoke . The fact that he could direct his rage at helpless creatures without feeling sadness is a psychological disconnect that makes him a scary man. If he was really sorry, then he would do the work it takes to join his anger with his sadness. I watched to see if that occurred.
I began to get worried at his first press conference. I never felt the sadness that his words were supposed to portray. I only saw a few public appearances to stand up against animal abuse. As the season wore on, so did his commitment to animal rights. The sadness that would drive him to right a wrong just never seemed to be there. The passion to right his wrongs never surfaced.
Then, this past month, we get the story of his birthday parties at his hometown in Virginia. Something seemed really wrong about them to me. He seemed to use his birthday as a means to raise money to pay his debts. He used his fame to lure people to parties rather than hard work as the rest of us must do. And nowhere did I hear that he was donating part of the proceeds to prevent dog fighting or animal abuse. Is it little wonder that one of his co-conspirators would end up turning on him? As the story unfolds, Michael Vick lost his temper and had to be restrained right before the shooting took place. Once again, his rage takes over, and the humbleness and rightful purpose of reparation for his prior misdeeds is nowhere to be found. In short, he has learned nothing.
When first offered a contract, the Eagles said that there would be zero tolerance for any future behavior. This recent act goes way beyond zero tolerance. On a psychological level, it is a repetition of the splitting of his anger from his sadness that opened the door to his crimes. I hope that Roger Goodell, the Commissioner of the National Football League, permanently bars him from football for life. I believe it is what he deserves.
The Eagles should be the first to make that decision. I understand that legally it is in their best interest to wait for the league to act to activate the clauses in his contract. If the Eagles do not act, then I believe that the decision is motivated by Andy Reid's guilt over his son's own criminal activities. He may be trying to help Vick in the same way he would hope somebody might do for his own sons. If he dismisses Vick, he would be making the type of judgment that somebody else might render on his own children. A decision about Michael Vick should be made on values and morals, not on the relief of parental guilt. Eagles fans and the world deserve better.

SEEING GOOD IN THE WORLD

I have always believed that there is more to be learned about human beings in the sports page than on the front page. Landon Donovan, a member of the 2010 US Soccer Team in the World Cup said something that seemed really important about people and sports in his latest quote . After recently scoring the winning goal against Algeria that put the Americans into the second round, he was quoted as saying, "I've been through a lot in the last four years, and I'm so glad it culminated this way. It makes me believe in good in the world. When you try to do things the right way, that's good to see them get rewarded."
I understood Donovan to be saying that sports represents the hope that the world makes sense - that good things happen when you play it straight and do the right thing. Sports embodies the idea that good things happen to the good guys more often than not. Even when cheating does occur, the belief that we hold for sports is that cheaters will ultimately get caught in the long run. We want to believe that performance enhancing drugs in sports do more harm than good. We want to believe that the sporting world is fair and that bad calls by referees even themselves out. We want to have hope that the good guys will overcome all obstacles to win in the end. We watch and we wait to have those dreams confirmed.
We all know that the real world does not work that way. People can cheat their way to the top. People get rich for more that working hard. Leaders will tell people what they want to hear to hold onto power. Having money is far better than having no money. Down deep, we know that people are only some good and some bad and to expect more is unreasonable.
But in the world of sports, we hope for the best, even if we know that we hold our athletes and our sports to unreasonable standards. We need to, or else we would lose the hope that good things can happen if you do the right thing.
No wonder the sports page is so much better to read than the front page.

ROGER FEDERER: THE WEIGHT OF HISTORY

History can mean everything in a sporting event. When you want to predict who will win and who will lose, history is your best predictor. Since chance events can intervene when fate or destiny comes calling, history will not always be right. If you want to play the percentages, always go with history and you will be right more than you will be wrong.
Take the case of Roger Federer's first round match at Wimbledon yesterday. Roger Federer, the number one ranked tennis player in the world, faced Alejandro Falla, the 60th ranked player in the world. Federer had lost only 5 times in 56 appearances at Wimbledon. He had won this major championship six times. In contrast, Falla had only played 18 times at Wimbledon, and won only 7 matches. He had never advanced beyond the second round.
Going into the match, history was clearly on Federer's side. Everybody in the sporting world expected him to win, as did Federer himself. Falla, on the other hand, would certainly have expected himself to lose to the best player in the world. No matter how hard he would have tried to convince himself that anybody can win on any given day, he was up against the expectations of history. Somewhere in his psyche, he knew that he was most likely to lose.
Then the unexpected happened. In a three set match, Falla surprisingly wins the first two sets by close scores, 7-5 and 6-4. Here he was , 60th ranked, beating the best player in the world. In the third set, the score is close, but Falla loses the set 6-4. You can only imagine his internal reactions. History would dictate that he would be saying to himself, "Oh, no, here it comes. I am going to lose no matter how hard I try." He manages to battle in a losing cause, dropping the fourth set in a tie breaker, 7-6. He is now spent and out of gas fighting the history and expectations. He loses the last set, 6-0, as he is completely exhausted from fighting the two foes. Federer is tough enough to beat even on a bad day. Add in history, and the job becomes nearly impossible.
Sports abound with examples of the weight of great expectations burying the hopes of some newcomer who flourishes for some brief time before falling under the weight of history. No matter what the score or how bad things look at any given moment, always go with history. It won't let you down.

A Perfect Imperfection

Sports never cease to amaze me in their ability to illustrate the human condition. The recent blown call by umpire Jim Joyce in the last out of a perfect game thrown by pitcher Armando Galaraga of the Detroit Tigers is one such instance. Jim Joyce's response to his mistake was one of unabashed sorrow for the gravity of his error. He apologized to the pitcher without being asked, cried publicly for making the mistake, and made gestures of good will to Armando the following day when they met at home plate with the line-up card. Armando was the consummate gentleman who graciously accepted his apology and forgave him without anger or bitterness.
The honest sadness and humbleness that Jim Joyce showed reminded us all of how difficult it is to make a mistake and make it up to the person. It is far easier to get defensive, make excuses, or attack back when criticized than it is to accept the criticism and make amends. Jim never made excuses. H never asked people understand that being an umpire is a hard job and that mistakes are human. He never asked the media to get off his back. He faced the music honestly and with true sorrow. His behavior touched everyone who witnessed his actions.
Jim Joyce's actions clearly illustrated the concept of forgiveness that is one of the cornerstones in a new movement in psychology called positive psychology. Forgiveness can be misunderstood to mean forgive and forget. Real forgiveness is earned and contains two conditions: contrition and reparation. Contrition is true sorrow for the pain that is inflicted. True sorrow is different than a hollow apology. True sorrow does not give way to anger when the person is slow to accept the apology. The sadness remains regardless of the wounded party's reaction. Reparation is the rebuilding of the trust that is broken by one's actions, a pledge to try to act differently in the future. Both contrition and reparation require that there be a real understanding of the error, and the actions that need to occur to restore the broken trust. Expressing both the sorrow and the problem to be addressed in the future earns the forgiveness.
Thank you Jim Joyce and Armando Galaraga for showing us your humanity on such a large public stage.