I have always believed that there is more to be learned about human beings in the sports page than on the front page. Landon Donovan, a member of the 2010 US Soccer Team in the World Cup said something that seemed really important about people and sports in his latest quote . After recently scoring the winning goal against Algeria that put the Americans into the second round, he was quoted as saying, "I've been through a lot in the last four years, and I'm so glad it culminated this way. It makes me believe in good in the world. When you try to do things the right way, that's good to see them get rewarded."
I understood Donovan to be saying that sports represents the hope that the world makes sense - that good things happen when you play it straight and do the right thing. Sports embodies the idea that good things happen to the good guys more often than not. Even when cheating does occur, the belief that we hold for sports is that cheaters will ultimately get caught in the long run. We want to believe that performance enhancing drugs in sports do more harm than good. We want to believe that the sporting world is fair and that bad calls by referees even themselves out. We want to have hope that the good guys will overcome all obstacles to win in the end. We watch and we wait to have those dreams confirmed.
We all know that the real world does not work that way. People can cheat their way to the top. People get rich for more that working hard. Leaders will tell people what they want to hear to hold onto power. Having money is far better than having no money. Down deep, we know that people are only some good and some bad and to expect more is unreasonable.
But in the world of sports, we hope for the best, even if we know that we hold our athletes and our sports to unreasonable standards. We need to, or else we would lose the hope that good things can happen if you do the right thing.
No wonder the sports page is so much better to read than the front page.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
ROGER FEDERER: THE WEIGHT OF HISTORY
History can mean everything in a sporting event. When you want to predict who will win and who will lose, history is your best predictor. Since chance events can intervene when fate or destiny comes calling, history will not always be right. If you want to play the percentages, always go with history and you will be right more than you will be wrong.
Take the case of Roger Federer's first round match at Wimbledon yesterday. Roger Federer, the number one ranked tennis player in the world, faced Alejandro Falla, the 60th ranked player in the world. Federer had lost only 5 times in 56 appearances at Wimbledon. He had won this major championship six times. In contrast, Falla had only played 18 times at Wimbledon, and won only 7 matches. He had never advanced beyond the second round.
Going into the match, history was clearly on Federer's side. Everybody in the sporting world expected him to win, as did Federer himself. Falla, on the other hand, would certainly have expected himself to lose to the best player in the world. No matter how hard he would have tried to convince himself that anybody can win on any given day, he was up against the expectations of history. Somewhere in his psyche, he knew that he was most likely to lose.
Then the unexpected happened. In a three set match, Falla surprisingly wins the first two sets by close scores, 7-5 and 6-4. Here he was , 60th ranked, beating the best player in the world. In the third set, the score is close, but Falla loses the set 6-4. You can only imagine his internal reactions. History would dictate that he would be saying to himself, "Oh, no, here it comes. I am going to lose no matter how hard I try." He manages to battle in a losing cause, dropping the fourth set in a tie breaker, 7-6. He is now spent and out of gas fighting the history and expectations. He loses the last set, 6-0, as he is completely exhausted from fighting the two foes. Federer is tough enough to beat even on a bad day. Add in history, and the job becomes nearly impossible.
Sports abound with examples of the weight of great expectations burying the hopes of some newcomer who flourishes for some brief time before falling under the weight of history. No matter what the score or how bad things look at any given moment, always go with history. It won't let you down.
Take the case of Roger Federer's first round match at Wimbledon yesterday. Roger Federer, the number one ranked tennis player in the world, faced Alejandro Falla, the 60th ranked player in the world. Federer had lost only 5 times in 56 appearances at Wimbledon. He had won this major championship six times. In contrast, Falla had only played 18 times at Wimbledon, and won only 7 matches. He had never advanced beyond the second round.
Going into the match, history was clearly on Federer's side. Everybody in the sporting world expected him to win, as did Federer himself. Falla, on the other hand, would certainly have expected himself to lose to the best player in the world. No matter how hard he would have tried to convince himself that anybody can win on any given day, he was up against the expectations of history. Somewhere in his psyche, he knew that he was most likely to lose.
Then the unexpected happened. In a three set match, Falla surprisingly wins the first two sets by close scores, 7-5 and 6-4. Here he was , 60th ranked, beating the best player in the world. In the third set, the score is close, but Falla loses the set 6-4. You can only imagine his internal reactions. History would dictate that he would be saying to himself, "Oh, no, here it comes. I am going to lose no matter how hard I try." He manages to battle in a losing cause, dropping the fourth set in a tie breaker, 7-6. He is now spent and out of gas fighting the history and expectations. He loses the last set, 6-0, as he is completely exhausted from fighting the two foes. Federer is tough enough to beat even on a bad day. Add in history, and the job becomes nearly impossible.
Sports abound with examples of the weight of great expectations burying the hopes of some newcomer who flourishes for some brief time before falling under the weight of history. No matter what the score or how bad things look at any given moment, always go with history. It won't let you down.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
A Perfect Imperfection
Sports never cease to amaze me in their ability to illustrate the human condition. The recent blown call by umpire Jim Joyce in the last out of a perfect game thrown by pitcher Armando Galaraga of the Detroit Tigers is one such instance. Jim Joyce's response to his mistake was one of unabashed sorrow for the gravity of his error. He apologized to the pitcher without being asked, cried publicly for making the mistake, and made gestures of good will to Armando the following day when they met at home plate with the line-up card. Armando was the consummate gentleman who graciously accepted his apology and forgave him without anger or bitterness.
The honest sadness and humbleness that Jim Joyce showed reminded us all of how difficult it is to make a mistake and make it up to the person. It is far easier to get defensive, make excuses, or attack back when criticized than it is to accept the criticism and make amends. Jim never made excuses. H never asked people understand that being an umpire is a hard job and that mistakes are human. He never asked the media to get off his back. He faced the music honestly and with true sorrow. His behavior touched everyone who witnessed his actions.
Jim Joyce's actions clearly illustrated the concept of forgiveness that is one of the cornerstones in a new movement in psychology called positive psychology. Forgiveness can be misunderstood to mean forgive and forget. Real forgiveness is earned and contains two conditions: contrition and reparation. Contrition is true sorrow for the pain that is inflicted. True sorrow is different than a hollow apology. True sorrow does not give way to anger when the person is slow to accept the apology. The sadness remains regardless of the wounded party's reaction. Reparation is the rebuilding of the trust that is broken by one's actions, a pledge to try to act differently in the future. Both contrition and reparation require that there be a real understanding of the error, and the actions that need to occur to restore the broken trust. Expressing both the sorrow and the problem to be addressed in the future earns the forgiveness.
Thank you Jim Joyce and Armando Galaraga for showing us your humanity on such a large public stage.
The honest sadness and humbleness that Jim Joyce showed reminded us all of how difficult it is to make a mistake and make it up to the person. It is far easier to get defensive, make excuses, or attack back when criticized than it is to accept the criticism and make amends. Jim never made excuses. H never asked people understand that being an umpire is a hard job and that mistakes are human. He never asked the media to get off his back. He faced the music honestly and with true sorrow. His behavior touched everyone who witnessed his actions.
Jim Joyce's actions clearly illustrated the concept of forgiveness that is one of the cornerstones in a new movement in psychology called positive psychology. Forgiveness can be misunderstood to mean forgive and forget. Real forgiveness is earned and contains two conditions: contrition and reparation. Contrition is true sorrow for the pain that is inflicted. True sorrow is different than a hollow apology. True sorrow does not give way to anger when the person is slow to accept the apology. The sadness remains regardless of the wounded party's reaction. Reparation is the rebuilding of the trust that is broken by one's actions, a pledge to try to act differently in the future. Both contrition and reparation require that there be a real understanding of the error, and the actions that need to occur to restore the broken trust. Expressing both the sorrow and the problem to be addressed in the future earns the forgiveness.
Thank you Jim Joyce and Armando Galaraga for showing us your humanity on such a large public stage.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Tiger Woods: An angry man; not a sex addict
From his comments in the press, I fear that Tiger Woods does not understand his real problem. Tiger is not a sex addict. He is obsessed with sex. The difference is that obsessions are psychological defenses against emotion that the person does not want to acknowledge. It is easier to be involved with the pleasure and fun that physical attraction and sex brings, than address the deeper emotions that the obsession hides.
The deeper emotion that Tiger hides from himself is the natural anger that he would feel at his father and mother for stealing his childhood. Tiger's father, with his mother watching, convinced himself that the end justified the means with his son. That no matter what it took, or regardless of the psychological cost, making his son the best golfer in the world was in the best interests of his son. As reported in numerous articles, Earl Woods put his son through ordeals that could be considered emotional abuse. Tiger never got the chance to choose to play golf. No four year old chooses anything that a parent is willing to counter with the intensity that Earl felt for Tiger's development as a golfer. LikeMichael Jackson , he lost his childhood to his family's passion.
Even worse, Tiger idealizes his parents to this day, a true sign of the inability to be angry at them for their actions toward him. No parent is perfect, let alone Earl Woods. If Tiger were emotionally healthy, he would understand that his father and mother can only be some good and some bad. If he can only see the good, the anger at the bad has to be hidden away.
It is little wonder that both Michael and Tiger fell into obsessions to cope with childhood trauma as an adult. Tiger was not about to surrender his adult right to "play". He lost it to his father and mother and was not about to surrender it to Elin, no matter what the marriage vows required. His anger at his father and mother became misdirected at Elin, who was doing nothing more than asking Tiger to honor his word. His anger prevented him from honoring what truly may have been his own values as well. He protected his right to his adult playground at any cost.
My worry is thatTiger Woods will never understand his anger and how it gets misdirected. If he continues to be treated as a sex addict, he will be subjected to the treatment for addictions based on the model of Alcholics Anonymous. Nowhere in that model is the emotional cause of his behavior identified and redirected to it's source. In fact, the model of treatment that assumes he is powerless over his addiction will only add more shame. It may work to suppress his anger in the short-term, but not in the long term.
If I am right, and hope that I am not, I predict that Tiger's sexcapades will disappear for a while, maybe a year or so, and reappear with the same intensity. In the interim, his anger will continue to plague his golf game. The fine motor controls needed for golf cannot hide from suppressed anger. His recent neck injury may be only one of many stress reactions created by his hidden emotion. I do not believe that Tiger will return to his prior level of play without understanding himself in a deeper way, and only hope that the reports of his treatment for sex addiction are not a true picture of the depth of the treatment that he requires.
For Tiger's sake, I hope that I am wrong. If I am right,Jack Nicklaus ' record of major titles will be safe for a long time to come.
The deeper emotion that Tiger hides from himself is the natural anger that he would feel at his father and mother for stealing his childhood. Tiger's father, with his mother watching, convinced himself that the end justified the means with his son. That no matter what it took, or regardless of the psychological cost, making his son the best golfer in the world was in the best interests of his son. As reported in numerous articles, Earl Woods put his son through ordeals that could be considered emotional abuse. Tiger never got the chance to choose to play golf. No four year old chooses anything that a parent is willing to counter with the intensity that Earl felt for Tiger's development as a golfer. Like
Even worse, Tiger idealizes his parents to this day, a true sign of the inability to be angry at them for their actions toward him. No parent is perfect, let alone Earl Woods. If Tiger were emotionally healthy, he would understand that his father and mother can only be some good and some bad. If he can only see the good, the anger at the bad has to be hidden away.
It is little wonder that both Michael and Tiger fell into obsessions to cope with childhood trauma as an adult. Tiger was not about to surrender his adult right to "play". He lost it to his father and mother and was not about to surrender it to Elin, no matter what the marriage vows required. His anger at his father and mother became misdirected at Elin, who was doing nothing more than asking Tiger to honor his word. His anger prevented him from honoring what truly may have been his own values as well. He protected his right to his adult playground at any cost.
My worry is that
If I am right, and hope that I am not, I predict that Tiger's sexcapades will disappear for a while, maybe a year or so, and reappear with the same intensity. In the interim, his anger will continue to plague his golf game. The fine motor controls needed for golf cannot hide from suppressed anger. His recent neck injury may be only one of many stress reactions created by his hidden emotion. I do not believe that Tiger will return to his prior level of play without understanding himself in a deeper way, and only hope that the reports of his treatment for sex addiction are not a true picture of the depth of the treatment that he requires.
For Tiger's sake, I hope that I am wrong. If I am right,
Phillies
I have a theory about the Phils recent slump. Players play well when they are mad, and play poorly when they are afraid. They started the season mad because they had lost the Series to the Yanks. They did well, were in first place, and took some time off. They know that the games right now are not that important. They know that from the experience of the last two years. They aren't pushing themselves right now because they know they don't have to do that to make the post season. Not so sure if this isn't a reasonable thing to do, but it does assume that you can turn it off and turn it on.
Charlie says that he sees cockiness and big heads. He is trying to get them to honor the right reason to play the game.. for the love of it. He wants them to respect the fan who pays their money every night to see an honest effort. Problem is, that is too distant for the players to hear. Their experience tells them that they can turn it on when they want.
Time to see if they are right. Maybe losing hold of first place will get the competitive juices stirred and make them mad. Or maybe Charlie will make them mad. In either case, we need to give them the space to do what they think is right. They have earned that. So let the boo birds take a seat for awhile and get off their backs. They don't need to be mad at the fans right now...just the other team.
Charlie says that he sees cockiness and big heads. He is trying to get them to honor the right reason to play the game.. for the love of it. He wants them to respect the fan who pays their money every night to see an honest effort. Problem is, that is too distant for the players to hear. Their experience tells them that they can turn it on when they want.
Time to see if they are right. Maybe losing hold of first place will get the competitive juices stirred and make them mad. Or maybe Charlie will make them mad. In either case, we need to give them the space to do what they think is right. They have earned that. So let the boo birds take a seat for awhile and get off their backs. They don't need to be mad at the fans right now...just the other team.
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