WHO CARES ABOUT MCNABB"S PARENTS!

A little piece of news said it all to me. In newspaper coverage of Donovan McNabb's return to Philadelphia as the quarterback of the Washington Redskins, it was noted that Donovan's parents, Sam and Wilma, were not going to attend the game. When is the last time that you can remember that a pro football's parents attending a game was newsworthy? I can't remember one. The only other Philadelphia sports figure with a high profile parent was Eric Lindros of the Flyers whose conflicts with General Manager Bobby Clarke led to him being traded to Toronto. Two major sports icons in Philly who didn't win a championship, and I believe that the link to the parents is the reason.

Both parents were helicopter parents. They overprotected their children out of fear of the potential damage their superstar status would have on their sons. The problem is that while the parent has the best of intentions, they end up stunting their son's emotional growth. The protective bubble prevents the child from developing their own sense of independence. It squashes the adolescent rebellion that teaches a child to embrace their right to be angry at their parent's weaknesses and manage differences with respect. The child never learns to assign their own meaning to life. They live life through their parent's eyes. With parental approval meaning too much, the psychological balance between pleasing self and pleasing others becomes tipped too far on the side of pleasing others. Anger that restores the balance becomes feared and relieving the guilt of letting others down becomes the primary driver for their behavior.

You can see this pattern clearly in Donovan McNabb's career as the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. There is no doubt that the man is an incredible athlete. He ranks 19th in NFL history with 33,706 passing yards, 16th with an 86.6 passer rating, and 22nd with 218 touchdown passes. Those records are not comparisons against other Eagle quarterbacks of the past. They are records against anyone who has ever played the game of football.

With those stats, you would think that everybody would love him. Not so. There are many in the city of Philadelphia who were calling for his head for a very long time. I think it started with the day he was drafted and was booed lustily by the throng of Eagles fans who attended draft day. He acted like it didn't bother him. He never showed his anger. As it turns out, he never showed his anger at any time that he was mistreated. He should have been angry at those fans. They didn't even know him and already booed him. He should have been angry at Rush Limbaugh for his race remark. He should have been angry at being accused of choking in the Super Bowl, the famous throwing up in the final minute incident. He should have been angry at Andy Reid for trading him after Donovan had campaigned to sign Michael Vick, only to be replaced by him in the end. In each of those incidents, Donovan said that he was above it and took the high road. However, his emotions were more visible than he realized. The hurt that he experienced would reveal the sadness but not the anger that hurt involves. You saw it with his joking at the wrong times, passive-aggressive remarks to the press, or outright denial of an emotional response that anybody would naturally have. He just didn't seem real.

People were put off by this emotional dishonesty, and instinctively knew that he could not be trusted. He could not be a leader of men when he suppressed the very emotion that he needed in order to lead. He was an emotional child and vulnerable to overloading with the need to please when the heat was on. And he will continue to overload whenever the pressure builds.

That's what you get from helicopter parents. Wilma may not have realized it at the time, but joining her son in Campbell soup ads was not a good thing for her son. It was joining in his parade and Donovan should have kept her out of his professional life. Too bad it cost him his career with the Eagles and potentially cost us a Super Bowl.